Well now here we go again, a little bit early, but here we go ... it's those bears. Those pesky, nasty old bears. What are they doing waking up so early in the year?
You know, this is bear country and has been for thousands of years before we humans even evolved. But now we have great problem because the bears want to get something to eat. Shame on them. My solution is very simple, so simple it won't be used. The Pilgrims had such a problem, but it was with the East Coast Indians. They either killed them, ran them off or put them in casinos.
I'm not like the wildlife biologists with their large coffee cups and big, slanty desks who try to solve the problem and never do. All we have to do is put out five to 10 live bear traps along side (their) our salmon streams and when Mr. and Mrs. Bear and kiddies go in, we pick them up with our many helicopters and fly them across the Inlet to any of the hundreds of salmon streams in uninhabited areas. This is a much better use of our copters than to jerk some idiot off of Denali. Then he hard-body yuppies can job to their heart's content.
But like I said, it's much too simple.
Let's just kill the bears.