To the editor:
Ahhhh, townfolk. You guys crack me up. It's funny to me to read time and again of these wildlife "scares" and the whole town of Fairbanks living on edge. I mean, this is Alaska, you know.
Growing up in the Brooks Range and fishing in Bristol Bay every year, wolves and bears are as common as other humans sometimes. I've had three of my own dogs and a couple of cats killed by wolves right in front of me, but I just figured since this is Alaska and there are wild animals, this is a fact of life here.
If you don't want wolves getting your dogs, don't let them run around loose. It's ridiculous because I'm sure as I write this there are a bunch of idiots running around town hunting wolves just like this summer with the few bears that had the misfortune of coming to town.
Maybe we should construct a shelter in town for all of Fairbanks to run and hide anytime a scary animal is spotted? Or maybe we should start a wildlife patrol? We could fence off the North Star Borough. Or maybe you guys should just hop on a plane and go back to wherever you came from, since I'm sure there are no scary animals left there.